Could It Get Any Clearer?

This sermon...
Blessed to be a Blessing from John Mark Comer this past week at Solid Rock

And this sermon...
Answering an Uncomfortable Call from our pastor Mike Penninga a couple of weeks ago

And this book...
Holy Discontent by Bill Hybels which I finished a few weeks ago

...Are rocking my world!
It started with the book and a leadership conference.  I have praying about and exploring what the discontent or discontents the Lord has placed in me for Kingdom purposes.  I have been seeking out what it could be He's calling me to.

Then I hear the sermon from Mike asking the big question.  What happens when God places an uncomfortable call on your life?  What happens when saying yes to God is costly?  Are you willing to take on the greatest joy, and the deepest heartache to follow God's call on your life?

Then as I sit comfortable in my little office chair, fluffy snow falling to the ground, I listen to John Mark's sermon.  You are blessed to be a blessing.  What blessings has He given you and WHY?  What could He be calling you to?

Instance after instance build on these same questions that stir more in my heart and have me asking "What in the world is God stirring me for and what is He calling me to?"

Seriously.  If you get the chance.  Listen to at least one, no, both, of these sermons.  Get your hands on Bill Hybels book.  Trust me.  If you allow Him, you are not going to be the same.

To What Shall I Cling?

I spent the morning watching the squirrels.  I sat at the table, looking out at the dark, grey sky.  Out the window, trees are many and bare.  Winter has taken over.  I watch four squirrels prance from branch to branch, tree to tree.  They jump and the tree bends crazy down and springs back and forth a diving board released.  And they cling hard with those small claws.  They never fall.  They cling hard and they know it will hold them.

This morning as I sat, I thought the lesson was about jumping, risk-taking.  It still may be.  But after this afternoon of heartbreak story after heartbreak story, it seems the lesson is more about the branch these little guys cling to.  Few are the branches that are firm, sturdy and unmovable.  Many are the branches that are small, thin and swaying.  Yet no branch has failed them.  Their little life hangs upside down clinging hard to the branch that they know will hold them.  It springs hard, up, down.  They cling hard.  It holds them.

He who is greater will hold us and not fail if we cling desperate to Him.

The earth quakes, the mountains crumble.  Pieces of our lives, they crumble, they break, they hurt.

As I sit now, the squirrels are gone and sad news, it seems it's invaded so many beloved's lives.  I play piano because somehow there my heart can fully express.  I play and after minutes an old hymn comes out.  His gift and reminder to me.  "My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness.  I dare not trust the sweetest frame but wholly lean on Jesus' name.  On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand.  All other ground is sinking sand.  When darkness seems to veil His face I rest on His unchanging grace.  In every high and stormy gale my anchor holds within the veil.  His oath, His covenant and blood support me in the 'whelming flood.  When all around my soul gives way, He then is all my hope and stay.  On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand.  All other ground is sinking sand."

He then pours this song in my heart.  A reminder of His deep, His unfailing love.  "He is jealous for me.  Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.  When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory.  I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me.  Oh, how He loves us, oh.  Oh, how He loves us, how He loves us all."

Not confident declarations now.  More humble realizations of where my hope rests, where my small claws shall cling to.  Soft revelations of His deep, undying love for me that will catch me and hold me every single time I cling to Him and the world rocks around me.

True Nourishment

8:57am, November 8th

8:57 am, November 7th

"Blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.  They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water.  Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought.  Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit."  Jeremiah 17:7, 8

Where are your roots reaching for nourishment?

"Jesus replied, 'If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water... Anyone who drinks this (well) water will soon become thirsty again.  But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again.  It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.'"

He turned to me and heard my cry...

A couple days ago I had a random urge to read Psalm 40.  You all know what that means...  Not random at all.  :)  So as I'm about to fall asleep Mark reads this to me:

"I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.
He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see what He has done and be amazed.
They will put their trust in the Lord.

Oh, the joys of those who trust the Lord, who have no confidence in the proud or in those who
worship idols.
O Lord my God, you have performed many wonders for us.
Your plans for us are too numerous to list.
You have no equal.
If I tried to recite all your wonderful deeds, I would never come the end of them."

Yes, yes and yes.  Talk about my heart cry.  How long it seemed we waited.  Not really so patiently, but we tried, and we waited.  And not as long as say, the Israelites.  But still, tough trials, they seem endless, and we waited.  My journal entries, my prayers from the last two years... they so reflect that "pit of despair," that "mud and mire."  They were rarely pleasant and sweet, to say the least.  Oh and how He has surely set our feet on solid ground!  He has steadied us and grounded us in Truth.  He has indeed given us a new song to sing (as you can see from the last post)!  We rejoice not because of the things He has given, but because of who He has (again and again) shown Himself to be.  These "things" they are second, but we are grateful for them.

We are so thankful that HIS plans for us are too numerous to list.  And that HIS plans are far higher than we could ever imagine.  And that He shows us such grace in responding to our true hearts cry, and not the irrational, wouldn't-be-good-for-us-in-the-long-run prayers.  Absolutely a song wells within us.  What a gorgeous psalm-gift for such a time as this.

ANNOUNCEMENT TIME!!!

We've been in Kelowna 2 years and 4 days now (can't believe it!).  We are ecstatic about the things we have learned and the opportunities presented.

We are excited to say I have accepted a (temporary) position at our church as the Admin. Assistant working with some accounting/finance stuff, the Children's Pastor, our Senior Pastor and whoever else comes along!  We are stoked about this position and opportunity!

Mark has accepted a position with a renovation business where he will learn more about the business and such.  He is stoked.
This weekend he heads off with his buddy for their first official song recording.... 2 years in the making... but they are stoked!
Come the new year Mark will be co-leading a group for high school students at our church.  We are busy dreaming and praying!  We are stoked about this!

Needless to say, we are stoked. :)  We love where He's brought us and where He has us now.  We have seen prayer and concern answered over and over again.  And it is so clear that for this season, this is where we are to be, and we are absolutely ecstatic.

We are so grateful for your prayers and support and your investing in us over the years.  We are convinced there is no way we would be where we are today, telling you what we are, if it were not for you and not for the Lord's crazy grace leading us, equipping us along the way.

"For from him and through him and to him are all things.  To Him be the glory forever!  Amen."

Adoption on the Brain

It was a family of seven.  Five children under the age of nine.  Three white skinned brunettes, identical to mom and dad.  Two chocolate skinned curly haired brunettes, called brother and son.  They were a family.  All seven of them.  As I watched them in the pool lobby, it spoke deep into my heart.  Something about it was beautiful.  Glorious.  I couldn't stop thinking on the beauty, the family.

Two days later, a facebook post from our pastor.  "There's an adoption seminar at such and such church this Saturday at 10.  For anyone who might be interested or wants to learn more."  I had to go.  There was no getting around this being coincidence.  I talked with Mark, we had spoken of adoption before.  Not extensively, but we were certainly open to the idea.  We walked ourselves into the church room.  Probably 20 other people there.  We sat, we listened, we watched, we were moved.  This seminar was specifically about adopting from the foster care system.  This idea never occurred to me.  We listened to stories of children in their childhood being awfully or horribly abused.  After years the police would come to take them away and place them, apart from their siblings, in foster homes.  Then they were told there was a family.  A family who wanted to adopt all of the siblings together.  They met the parents, the played with them, they talked with them.  They felt safe.  They felt loved.  They were secure in the arms and the home of their new home, their adopted parents.

Absolutely beautiful.  Not without challenges and difficulties, to be sure.  But to wrap the arms of Christ around these children who otherwise would have never known, beautiful.  Children who are now in their mid-twenties, following and serving the Lord, and so deeply grateful for the things they were saved from.

When we heard of the statistics it was overwhelming.  30,000 children in Canada alone, waiting to be adopted.  When we heard the financial cost anywhere from $50 to $350, how could we not be open to being the physical arms of Jesus?  To influence and love and raise even ONE child.  To think of one family in each church did that.  How many children would be left family-less come age 18?

Our hearts are stirred.  Not that it will be anytime soon.  Not that we have it all figured out.  Not saying it will be domestic or international.  We have no idea when or how or if... but we are excited about what the Lord is stirring in us.  These are exciting times and we want to be open to the things He has called us to.

I'll end with this verse that keeps percolating in my mind, "Learn to do good.  Seek justice.  Help the oppressed.  Defend the cause of orphans.  Fight for the rights of widows."  Just think, taking even just one child in, raising them and loving them like Jesus.  What a difference it could make.

Our God is Able

Last Thursday and Friday I spent at a Leadership Conference.  I was challenged, I was encouraged, I was inspired, I am reignited.  Spending two days listening to the God-stories, God-dreams that have been birthed because His people were faithful to listen and to act... I cannot help but be challenged.

One woman, a lawyer in her East Indian home.  She grew up claiming she would never follow the God her parents were devoted to.  But after years of rebellion, the Lord spoke to her and gave her Isaiah 42 as her mission.  She now risks her life working with government officials to lead trafficking raids.  Because of God's work in and through her, she has helped lead 4000 men, women and children to freedom.  Amazing.  Only by God's incredible grace and power.

One young man, a Harvard and Oxford graduate, can't be more than early 30's.  He has started two huge organizations (which were originally began when he was 15 and his brother was 12) to free trafficked children overseas, and to equip Canadian, American and English youth to be a part in bringing freedom worldwide.  Amazing.

I challenged to listen to the Father's voice, to realize the God-dreams that stir within me... some from years ago and some more recent.  I am challenged to ask, "God, what do you want me to do?"  And I am challenged to respond.

I was once told, "Amy, do something so big (for God) that there is NO way you could do it unless God shows up."  So true.  And yet how often do I actually live like that?  This song is so fitting, and such an awesome reminder that our God is able, He is strong, He is for us and He has called us.  What a joy to cling to truth that He uses weak vessels like us, to do big things for His Kingdom.  Amazing.

The Duckling

We went on a bike ride this evening.  Wove our way to the lake.  It was stormy.  All storm.  Waves growing, crashing hard.  Skies grey and growing darker.  Wind swept fast against our face.  I looked to my left.  Ducks.  A whole bunch of them.  Feathers tostling in the wind.  Faces shivering from storm chill.  I look.  Hiding under the mama's wing, a duckling.  Safe.  Protected.  The storm still furies, it even grows.  But baby has found refuge from it all.  Hidden beneath the Mama's wing.
I think.  Isn't that the Father's way with me?  The storms they fury, they grow.  Alone it is too much.  I am a duckling trampled by the wind.  The waves, they scare me.  Yet my Father's wing, it protects me. I am safe.  I am warm.  I am kept from harm and sheltered from any storm.
This comforts me.  I have a Father, He shelters me under His wing.  I am safe from any storm.

"He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart." Psalm 91:4

...

Wow, it's been awhile.

I'm ready to burst though, so I needed some outlet.  And well, today it's here.  

I am so ready for my job and my passion for ministry to collide!  There.  Said it.  Done.  

Father, teach me patience, contentment, and proper seeking in this.  I am eager. 

I resonate with and ponder on these lyrics...

"This world is not my home

This life will pass

Only what is done for God will last.

Lord, take my life and use it up

Spread it thin like a blanket of love

Over the world that You gave Your blood for

Take my life, take it all, Lord"

Content in all things

I am having a breakthrough with God.  More so, He is having a breakthrough with me.  I have been praying and yearning for His voice for months it seems.  But all seems silent and distant.  Yesterday I hit an absolute head, like a nasty pimple ready to blow.  I blew.  Thankfully my dad had sensed just in the right moment that he needed to text me.  And later, so did my mom.  I went on a drive, cause I didn't know what else to do.  Anger, frustration, tears.  How I want to do God's will, but no voice!

As I sat in a mostly empty parking lot, dad and mom, they counselled me through text, and more so, they prayed.  I cried out to God, once again, HUNGRY and ACHING for His voice.  I heard him.  "Be content where you are."  "But God!" I said, "How can I be content when I'm not using my gifts and can't find a place to use them?!  When I can't hear your voice, don't sense your presence in my life?!  When I'm working a job that I feel is stealing my soul?!  When I'm not living out the dreams I believe you placed in me?!  Surely you aren't asking me to be content when I'm not living out the person you've made me!"  Be content.  No other jobs have come up, no peace has been given to move somewhere else, the doors seem unopened, but content.  If He has me here, then I must be here.  I have tried to pry open other doors, to find other opportunities, but they have not come.  So I must surrender to His plan.  They were my ideas of "God's will."  Using my gifts, I'm sure He desires, but nothing certain has come up yet.  I must be content where He has me, despite the not understanding.  Even when it doesn't make sense, I want to be content.  I want to be content, for it shows trust.  I want to trust, for it is surrender.  May this verse be my proclamation, "...For I have learned how to be content with whatever I have.  I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength."

"Satisfy me, Lord of all,
Satisfy me, Lord of all,
I'm begging You, to help me see
You're all I want, You're what I need
Oh satisfy me Lord"
(Tenth Avenue North, Satisfy)

"God is Able" by Hillsong

In a time where we are seeking the Lord in direction, call, and next steps, we proclaim and cling to the promises that He knows the plans for us, that He has paved the way before us, and that He is capable of seemingly impossibilities.  Thus, how fitting to have found this song :-)

[Verse 1]
God is able
He will never fail
He is almighty God
Greater than all we seek
Greater than all we ask
He has done great things

[Chorus]
Lifted up
He defeated the grave
Raised to life
Our God is able
In His name
We overcome
For the Lord
Our God is able

[Verse 2]
God is with us
God is on our side
He will make a way
Far above all we know
Far above all we hope
He has done great things

[Chorus]
Lifted up
He defeated the grave
Raised to life
Our God is able
In His name
We overcome
For the Lord
Our God is able

[Bridge]
God is with us
He will go before
He will never leave us
He will never leave us
God is for us
He has open arms
He will never fail us
He will never fail us

[Chorus (x2)]
Lifted up
He defeated the grave
Raised to life
Our God is able
In His name
We overcome
For the Lord
Our God is able

For the Lord
Our God is able
For the Lord
Our God is able