I think I've found the problem. I think I need a bigger age to be considered for ministry not as a volunteer.
Right now at our church we're doing a 'series' on discovering and implementing your spiritual gifts. This was perfect timing for me, because boy have I ever been questioning everything! I love spiritual gifts tests, and the like, and was thus so excited for this. In taking the tests it was bold in my face how ministry passionate I am. I struggle because I think maybe I'm supposed to be getting a 'real' job and then just do ministry on the side, or allow my job to be ministry. But I want ministry TO BE my job! The test was off the charts confirming my gifts and passions, which was good, because I was starting to doubt it all.
Shepherd. Leader. Administrator. Giver. Teacher.
Wow. And yet, why does it seem all so hopeless here? As I glance through the statuses, the updates, the pictures posted of people whose job IS ministry, or who are so clearly being led into impactful ministry, I get jealous. My heart is so ministry. Is that bad of me? I so want to be content where the Lord has me, and yet I'm SO not. I want to get my hands dirty and I want to be using my gifts! I want to feel ALIVE again! Pray for us, would you? It seems we've been praying long for jobs, for better schedules, for full time (or even part time) ministry, for unified dreams (and dreams at all) and yet no answer. And for our very health, something has to change. Pray with us? Tell me I'm not crazy for so desiring to be a part of His work? Love you all. Thanks for journeying with us, though so very far away. We love you.
