The last months have largely been full of rough patches, concerning my relationship with God. Prayer has been full of “HELP!” and upset, “Why?!” or “I don’t get it!” Scripture reading and reflecting has been minimal, for the sole reason that I couldn’t focus and felt incredibly discouraged. I could read the words, but I just couldn’t connect. It seemed God wasn’t speaking to me as He before.
Recently Mark and I stepped into the Youth Ministry at our church. I have been challenged and blessed. It was the major kick in the butt I needed. In our last weeks we have been challenged to have daily Scripture reading and prayer, which seems like a “Duh!!” But nonetheless, it was totally what I needed. Since I couldn’t focus, didn’t know where to read and felt I couldn’t hear God, I knew something needed to change. So I grabbed a gift from the internship Mark and I had done in Bend, Oregon. The Solo Bible. It gives a brief passage to read (with expanded passages if you so desire), then reflection questions, prayer ideas, and reflections on how to live it out. THAT WAS WHAT I NEEDED! I have been in the Word and cannot stop reading! I have been reflecting and listening, and you should see how my desires are starting to change and how my passions are starting to re-ignite! The mornings where I was bored, or had a tv show on the schedule, have now changed to be mornings where I can’t get enough of the Word, where I can’t get enough studying and want to spend my day singing at the piano, preparing lessons, and listening to the Father. These days are glorious.
The more I faithfully continued to seek God, the more He showed up. The more I faithfully seek Him, the more I desire Him. The more I desire Him, the more my heart is changed, my soul is content. I am so thankful. And I encourage you, keep seeking! Keep pursuing despite the “HELP!” prayers, and the seemingly pointless times of Scripture reading. KEEP PURSUING! There is more to come!
Praying with you…
